Helllllllo, my friends, hello. Welcome back to the weekly installment from your favorite handicapper. The term "handicapper" is kind of ironic at this point because I’m currently on crutches for a devastating injury:
I broke my toe (Editor's note: I HIGHLY recommend that the readers ask Mr. Streb about how exactly he broke his toe).
I know, it’s rough out here. Having to wear tennis shoes with a suit is an odd look and it definitely takes some getting used to, but I am a man of the people. I won’t leave you in your time of need. The world runs on money and I’m here to make you some.
Let’s do a quick rundown of last week, mostly because my boss isn’t here yet so I have some time to write this. We went 2-1 for the week on “Best Bets”, winning Detroit and Chicago straight up, while Washington failed to cover. I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t watch any of these games. What I can tell you, however, is that Drew Brees and the Saints offense is so up and down this year that it is making me sick. Actually sick. Every time the Saints play, I get a little queasy because I know it’s pretty much 50/50 shot at this point that I’ll bet the game wrong and/or Brees and Cooks will disappoint me in fantasy. Betting the Lions was a risk because I never know how the Saints will play at home, but it was a risk that paid off, literally.
I kind of followed the Bears-49ers game, but that was mostly through Twitter, as I am a big fan of Barstool Sports, and one of their main bloggers, Big Cat, is a diehard Bears fan. So basically I was laughing at two of the three worst teams in the league via Twitter rants. Fun fact, this was the first game (I think ever?) that there wasn’t a completed pass by either team in the first quarter. Yeeks. Regardless, the Bears won and covered so that’s cool.
The Redskins must have cooled off their hot streak, as they have lost two in a row now. That’s the trouble with betting the hot teams, you just gotta know when to hop off. That was my problem in this bet and this loss ended what could have been a perfect 3-0 week. Oh well, the world continues to go on and I’m probably going to hop off the Redskins for now.
At Kansas City (-3) - Oakland - 46
At Tennessee (-1) - Denver - 43.5
At Carolina (-1.5) - San Diego - 48.5
At Indianapolis (-6) - Houston - 47
Cincinnati (-5.5) - At Cleveland - 43
Pittsburgh (-1.5) - At Buffalo - 47
At Miami (-1) - Arizona - 43.5
At Detroit (-8) - Chicago - 43.5
Minnesota (-3.5) - At Jacksonville - 39
At Tampa Bay (-2.5) - New Orleans - 51.5
Washington (-1) - At Philadelphia - 46.5
At San Francisco (-2.5) - NY Jets - 43.5
Seattle (-3) - At Green Bay - 46.5
Atlanta (-6) - At Los Angeles - 45
Dallas (-3) - At NY Giants - 47.5
At New England (-7) - Baltimore - 45.5
Dallas-3 at New York Giants: Zeke is a freak and it’s getting kind of old to talk about at this point. Dallas is still undervalued by Vegas so get them before the spreads increase. In any other year I would be worried as it’s a divisional game and it is Dallas, but these aren’t the same old Cowboys. Hop on Zeke’s back and let him carry you to the pile of cash awaiting.
New Orleans at Tampa Bay -2.5: Tampa isn’t that bad anymore. They’re on a 4 game win streak including wins over playoff-caliber teams such as Seattle and Kansas City. If you skipped my wonderful introduction, please read my mini rant about the Saints above. Famous Jameis throws for 325 yards, couple tiddies (TDs for the slower readers), and Evans might break the receiving record. Expect a shootout, boys and girls, but take Tampa.
Baltimore at New England -7, O/U 45.5: This is the first time I’m advising not to bet the Patriots this season. All of the sudden, the Ravens are getting national attention and rising up the “power rankings” in most “experts” opinions. As a Ravens fan, that terrifies me. In addition, the opening line to this game was Patriots -10, now dropping to -7. It might be because I’m a homer, but Baltimore can beat the Patriots on Monday night. I’m also going to take the over 45.5. You can pass on both teams’ defense, so expect a lot of stats out of Brady and Flacco. A risky play, but I’ll take Baltimore +7 and the Over.
Questions, concerns, comments, or criticisms? @FFMilkman on Twitter!